Bullied Into Thin Mints

You know, my mom made me walk my happy ass around our neighborhood in my lame Brownie sash with almost no badges because I was the laziest Brownie ever, peddling my sweet crunchy wares to our old crusty neighbors. I had to sit patiently on Ms. Rosenberger's couch while she got her purse. I had to make conversation with the Heltzel couple while they perused the selections. All the while knowing that I wouldn't sell more than about 20 boxes...definitely not enough to score me a sweet prize like a Walkman or a bike. My coworker said "his daughter" sold nearly 300 boxes last year. I bet she got a sweet prize.

When exactly did it become acceptable for parents to do their daughters' dirty work when it comes to Girl Scout cookies? Some of these people are like crack dealers. One of my coworkers keeps an electronic inventory of what everyone purchases from his kid. If you don't cough up the same cash as last year, don't even think about trying to get your email to get sent out on time. Unfortunately, my inner fat kid bought a bunch of Thin Mints last year...and needed an update about fees sent this year.

Did you know these things are $4 a box now??

2012 pretty much ruled.

I kicked off the year in Chicago with a little bean flick.



Then this happened...



2012 was the year I tried White Castle for the first time. What the hell, people? That is some scary, nasty shit.

I went to an Alice in Wonderland party in 2012. My life is finally complete. I'm not kidding at all. It was amazeballs.



You can dress me up, but you can't take me anywhere. (Especially when there are tables and tables of free fancy cocktails involved.)



I made sure to get in plenty of whining about the heat.



Although it looks like I'm smiling here, I was definitely still whining about the heat. And gassy. There were free hot dogs.



I was assigned Mexico for the Olympics opening ceremony party. I totally dressed the part, and my outfit looked way better than the actual lame crap the Mexican team wore.



On a road trip to Texas, I got to see Big Tex just hours before he burned to the ground. I did not do it.



I turned 33 in 2012, which is evidently the happiest age.



My birthday present was a Redskins game...in Club Level seats! Of course, we lost, but losing with a beer in a Club Level seat definitely softened the blow.



I stood in the longest early voting line on the planet.



And I spent the holidays in Eastern Europe, where for some reason they don't celebrate Thanksgiving.



For serious though, 2012 was an amazing year. I'm so grateful for where I am, what I have, and who I have around me. I look forward to 2013.