Subject: Construction Paper

Allison,


Do you have any construction paper? Can I have a piece?


Thanks,
X

This was a work email I received today. Please keep in mind that (although it might seem like it most of the time), I do not work at a preschool.

Mr. X might have let the cat out of the bag here. Clearly other departments are having Krazy Kraft Korner time with glitter and pipe cleaners and safety scissors. They probably even have nap time!

Meanwhile, the marketing folks are out saving people's lives. Who do you call when you're stuck in the elevator? Marketing. Who do you count on to pull the fire alarm when the building goes up in flames? Marketing. Who's going to scream, "run" at the top of her lungs and then take off full speed in the wrong direction during an earthquake? That one was all me.

I heart my co-workers.

Me: "Hey, what's up?"

Female coworker: "Nothing...just buffin' my peach."

I turned around, confused. She was holding a peach...and she was buffing it.

Later, I explained to the same coworker that these...

...are not called "tennyshoes." They are tennis. shoes. As in you play tennis while wearing them. She wears them during her Latin Heat classes.

Then I found out that another coworker took this person to prom:

She was on American Gladiators, y'all. For realz.

Seriously, my job rules.