Zombies schmombies.

Having been in this creepy dark stairwell several times now and fully aware that I should never enter the basement alone under these circumstances, I'm 100 percent prepared for the zombie apocalypse. 

It's electric!

Actually it's not. 

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

There has been a very grumpy, sweaty, possibly nude (but not in a sexy way) Allison sleeping on her couch all night. Worst of all? No Internet, so I can't fix my blog settings so my little sister can make funny comments about it. 

Update: I'm being embraced by the sweet, sweet air-conditioned (and connected) arms of my cubicle. Julia, you can comment to your little heart's content now!

I'm ruuuuuuunning in the rain...

Yesterday's poorly timed run left me drenched. It was pouring, with thunder, lighting...the works. I didn't really mind, since I'm usually disgustingly sweaty at the end of a run anyway. Plus the lack of traffic and very few pedestrians to dodge were a rare treat.

The only thing I was worried about was my iPhone. Fortunately, my hand-held bottle thingie has a pretty water-tight pocket for it. But next time I think I'll try this tip from Neon Blonde Runner.

The DC Snow Hole

I've always gotten really excited about snow, or the possibility of it. I pretty much moved to DC for it. I was all, Snowmageddon, here I come! I grabbed my bag full of scarves and hats – useless in Dallas – and headed north.



So how many times has it snowed since I moved here? (We're talking accumulation here, of course.)

ZERO.

I'm getting so screwed here! And to add insult to injury, Dallas got a major ice storm last winter that shut down the city for like a week. What the hell, Nature??

Today I got my explanation...I can blame the DC Snow Hole. Evidently this is A Thing. Look!



This is some serious bullshit. I had definitely noted over the summer months that we were getting mysteriously skipped by all the storms, which totally sucks because those little temperature dips allow me a few minutes to squeegee off my swamp-ass. But I digress.

Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon? (The Snow Hole, not the swamp-ass thing.) How is this happening?

On a related note, I think I'd like to be a weather forecaster. You can be wrong all the time and it's fine.

Subject: Construction Paper

Allison,


Do you have any construction paper? Can I have a piece?


Thanks,
X

This was a work email I received today. Please keep in mind that (although it might seem like it most of the time), I do not work at a preschool.

Mr. X might have let the cat out of the bag here. Clearly other departments are having Krazy Kraft Korner time with glitter and pipe cleaners and safety scissors. They probably even have nap time!

Meanwhile, the marketing folks are out saving people's lives. Who do you call when you're stuck in the elevator? Marketing. Who do you count on to pull the fire alarm when the building goes up in flames? Marketing. Who's going to scream, "run" at the top of her lungs and then take off full speed in the wrong direction during an earthquake? That one was all me.

Day 17 - On the Shelf (Virginia Earthquake 2011)

What a coincidence that today's photo would be "on the shelf." By now you have probably heard about the 5.8-magnitude earthquake that struck the East Coast today. Here's my shelf after the quake.

Nope, no damage. I came home to crooked pictures and opened doors(?), but nothing broken.

Let me say that that earthquake pretty much spoiled the thought of ever moving to California. Or Indonesia. That shit was not cool.